Gabriel
Hello Bitchy Bloggy,
Its been since a few days I last blog. I am so wanting to blog, but I barely have time, not even time to have a good night sleep. Final Year Project is like killing me, every seconds determine a certain grade for me, every word counts, every second counts. Tomorrow is the DATELINE. I am like so dead, or rather We. For the past few days: Friday stayed over in my house till 8am plus then all went home for a rest. Then Yesterday meet 5pm in school till this morning 6am. Then went home. Later meet 3.30pm in school again, till ____. I have like many things undone, till i questioned myself being a LEADER. DO I FIT THE BLOODY FUCKING BILL? NO!!!
I have to keep my brain generating. I am not smart. I kept my complain, I tolerate, I irritate people to make people awake, I kept my yawn, I do everything to beg for a smile, I crack my ass to sit through with many, I search for new ideas, I be the devils to reject stuff, I motive people. BUT WHO DO IT TO ME?! I am like so freaking tired. I am like wanting to give up, and yet I cant.
I got pei kee who is going back to australia on 19th feb, I got wai yeung who just reach singapore on 3rd feb 11pm plus. Both my greatest buddy. So much wants to see them, so much. Its kind of jealous to see how my buddy went out to have rocking roll fun and yet I am like stuck in the jail. Seem I am like been a history to many. The support I need, is like no longer there. My body is falling apart, My mind is half dead. WHERE MY SUPPORT?
On friday, I thought our report was somewhat completed. Sent to Mrs Pang for editing, thinking that 40 odd pages can make it through. WRONG!!! She took out past year A group report, 200 odd pages, I am not even half of it, FUCK! Katic and I got a shock. We were like speechless in the room. The way we were shot at, determine our death. So now, I got 112 pages. Hahaha... Half of it. But quantity and quality. DO we BALANCE ITS OFF? I dont know. Its like my ideas, and people just go collect data. I am like so scared I am wrong. I am... I am like so worried, that what I do is WRONG!!! I AM!!!! I am like worried, my groupmate will blame me if we fail. I AM!!! I am like living in my own world, feeling lost!!! I AM!!! I am tried of smiling and joking around, when i am really sleepy. I AM!!! I am like tired of thinking everything will go wrong. I AM!!! I am so freaking tired of being a shit of devil... I AM!!! I am wanting some support from friends, except her, and yet I received NONE!!! I AM!!!
Now I left with one day more to finish up the report, and around 5 days more till FRIDAY for my Final Year Presentation. I will be dead or alive stay tune then.
But sincerely I have a group of wonderful groupmate. =)
Its been since a few days I last blog. I am so wanting to blog, but I barely have time, not even time to have a good night sleep. Final Year Project is like killing me, every seconds determine a certain grade for me, every word counts, every second counts. Tomorrow is the DATELINE. I am like so dead, or rather We. For the past few days: Friday stayed over in my house till 8am plus then all went home for a rest. Then Yesterday meet 5pm in school till this morning 6am. Then went home. Later meet 3.30pm in school again, till ____. I have like many things undone, till i questioned myself being a LEADER. DO I FIT THE BLOODY FUCKING BILL? NO!!!
I have to keep my brain generating. I am not smart. I kept my complain, I tolerate, I irritate people to make people awake, I kept my yawn, I do everything to beg for a smile, I crack my ass to sit through with many, I search for new ideas, I be the devils to reject stuff, I motive people. BUT WHO DO IT TO ME?! I am like so freaking tired. I am like wanting to give up, and yet I cant.
I got pei kee who is going back to australia on 19th feb, I got wai yeung who just reach singapore on 3rd feb 11pm plus. Both my greatest buddy. So much wants to see them, so much. Its kind of jealous to see how my buddy went out to have rocking roll fun and yet I am like stuck in the jail. Seem I am like been a history to many. The support I need, is like no longer there. My body is falling apart, My mind is half dead. WHERE MY SUPPORT?
On friday, I thought our report was somewhat completed. Sent to Mrs Pang for editing, thinking that 40 odd pages can make it through. WRONG!!! She took out past year A group report, 200 odd pages, I am not even half of it, FUCK! Katic and I got a shock. We were like speechless in the room. The way we were shot at, determine our death. So now, I got 112 pages. Hahaha... Half of it. But quantity and quality. DO we BALANCE ITS OFF? I dont know. Its like my ideas, and people just go collect data. I am like so scared I am wrong. I am... I am like so worried, that what I do is WRONG!!! I AM!!!! I am like worried, my groupmate will blame me if we fail. I AM!!! I am like living in my own world, feeling lost!!! I AM!!! I am tried of smiling and joking around, when i am really sleepy. I AM!!! I am like tired of thinking everything will go wrong. I AM!!! I am so freaking tired of being a shit of devil... I AM!!! I am wanting some support from friends, except her, and yet I received NONE!!! I AM!!!
Now I left with one day more to finish up the report, and around 5 days more till FRIDAY for my Final Year Presentation. I will be dead or alive stay tune then.
But sincerely I have a group of wonderful groupmate. =)
posted by Gabriel at
1:55 PM
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