The moment of Truth.

Perphaps, I owe myself many reasons for keeping it mum. Perphaps, I owe most of you an answer from escaping from this questions. Perphaps, I owe myself one good answer for all this. But in any case, if you all want to know about it all, I am here to speak it.

A letter to myself,

Its been great seeing you facing all the obstacle in crossing your thin confident level. You know yourself for not being the great or even the good. You often lied for a good cause, you often late for a selfish reason. You always placed yourself more than anyone else. Although, you may be kind and caring sometimes, but the main reason is that you are afraid to be lonely. You know your attitude well enough. You know it better than any living things on earth. You hate being alone and your selfish act are a cover of your coward feelings.

You smile. You love smiling and laughing. Thats a mask. You love gossiping, hating people with lame joke. Because you know yourself, you are inferior. You are no where near there. You can be loud, shout at others. You can be arrogant and gives other people a blank stare. Because you cannot face the reality of people better than you. You tried very hard. Indeed very hard. But you know yourself. You suck.

You always tried to live in your own ever green land, hoping that what you lied are to be truth. There are many things happened for a damn good reason, and that is probably my pride.

So now, for some of you, those who are more than interested to know my love story. I am to spill it now...

Yes, I like this girl from my poly. Met her at my semester 1.2. In fact I enter poly without much close friends. Being the fact that I came from a north school and to travel to east is a terrible nightmare. Although I do have friends in my course, like corinne, but we are extreme end of the lectures. So after an unhappy ending from my 1.1 semester class, whereby, everyone are faking a laugh. I came to 1.2 semester... Wth!!! Worst that was my first impression. Then happily I went into a group with consists, of van, pearllyn, hong and wendie... At first, they didnt think positive of me as well... You know... My first impression always sucked!!! But then things went well, we did all the projects together. We laugh throughout the entire OB lessons, we went sakae for sushi and hong asked for a wheel chair. We did all the lamest things.

Time flies.

I came into my specialist: Logistics. Enter into 2.1 van and pearllyn class, once again. I am a slow guy perphaps. Choose to be with closer people than to make newer friends. Thats me. And so, van stick to me throughout the entire tutorial semester. Sat beside me, joke with me, teaching me and we did project together once again. Memories sticked to me. I enjoyed this semester most. And this is when I fell for her. Bear in mind she helped me alot during my election period too, which is in this semester. She helped!!!

Time flies.

We entered in 2.2, no luck. She is seperated from me.

Time flies slowly.

We entered 3.1. Luck on myself... I knew that something needed to be done.. It is either here nor there... You know... But I choose to find an excuse for myself... Studies first, school first, low self esteem. I never tried... This is when, i started to confess to my closest friends, baoli and michelle. And so van and us did projects again. We laughed and laughed, beat here and there... Scold are common, but it was lovely. Neh, no action from me yet... Happily, i flew to shanghai for 3 months, came back and got her a panda bear, and took every efforts to film down the panda in actions at the zoo. Sent to her, hoping she laugh... I did tried to exchanged emails with her... Did!!! Was not long...

Time flies fast...

We entered into 3.2... Last chance gab!!! Last chance... I decided to pull a bit of courage here and a bit there... Gathered more information from her best buddy, yi xuan... hahaha... Who always risk her life for me... Hahhaa... Thanks... Nearing the near, I gave her a home made card... WRONG TIME!!! It was near to final exam... The last day of school before we entered into one week study break... She say: After exams, let me think... Thanks... Then exam over... 1 day passes, so does 2, 3,4... She replied... She's not sure whether we are friends or closer.... No perfect answer... But I treated it as reject... hahaha... Demoralised... Hiaz... Then I did no actions... Silly me... Entering NS, I sent her the 2nd letter... Hoping she knows that I still like her... After NS, I asked her again... She replied the same answer... And I know for sure, I did nothing... Hiaz... Nothing for a better cause? Dream on gab!!! Dream on...

Yesterday, was her birthday... I went with a nicely ironed clothes... Just like anyone hoping for a suprise... She was glamour... More ladylike... Put on a thick make up and a sexy top... To spice up, she was with a pair of heels... Just like devil wear pranda... Heart beats... Beats faster... And so, I gave her a video I made... This time round, I'm ready... So ready to go for it... Am I sure? Never had I been so determined... I will at least try... Jia You Gab...

Signed,
Gabriel....

And this the moment of truth...

Van's 21st birthday party, at manhanttan fish market central, 210308... The secret that she didnt know, I made the reservation for her... I'm pretty much good with talking... But as long as she is happy... =)
















Happy birthday miss vanessa!!! Happy 21st birthday...