Empty!!!
Went to school today from 11am to 4plus, been doing 2 project at one day... Okie.. Pretty smooth.. Then went to orchard to meet ru yuan, yong xin and adelyn... Firstly went to collect the $1200 sponsorship, then went to Lido to catch, She's the Man... A wonderful show... Full marks for it.. It was so funny till, I kept laughing, even when the theatre is so quiet... Okie, making a fool again... Then went home...
Now, i am infornt of the computer doing my project... And i am totally pissed by it... Dont wish to further explain... But i got a sudden urge to cry or to shout or to drop dead... I am not sure why... But I feel empty now... Not because i am hungry or what... I felt, that the movie and the fun I have somehow, cure me from my emptiness... But afterall, I felt lonely and empty and totally stress...
Alright, I am hoping to go Shanghai, and i am trying to be independent, so i start off by taking bus alone, long rides buses... Okie, then i felt that the Ipod is destroying my plans, because i wont be bring it to shanghai... Okie, so I decided to watch She's the Man movie... Okie, Its perfect, I felt.. But now, I feel much more empty, I felt lost... A sudden LOST in no where... I tried to focus, but i couldnt... Goodness me, i feel so fed up with stuff now... And not to say IRRITATED...
What makes me empty? What makes me stress??? What's behind all this???? Or am i just trying to grab attention??? I doubt so... And i am clueless... Sorry to say, i feel like a dead ass... And i want to release myself totally... So much fun and laughter, but till it couldnt hide the emotion feelings behind its... I couldnt feel anymore better... So if you think, Gabriel is a funny ass, that's surely a fake me... And when you see a guy looking at the scenery quietly, thats me... Cause i need a break from all NONSENSE...
I shall remain myself as a dead ass... I am so dead... So not Focus at all... I hoped to release... Okie... Election is coming... My heart is there for it... But my body is not moving for it... Is it i am tired from it? I guess not... I love BSC... And i love the people... Some people says:" Gabriel is so attitude!!!". Some says:"His too attention seeker". SOme even says:" WE HATE HIM!!!" How can i possibly live with such fucking comments in school... I know it, but i pretended to be positive... I carried many Criticisms, it accumulate each time i heard it... I tried hard to throw it away, tried many times... But i couldnt... As time goes by, it become a burden...Too heavy, too diffcult to handle... Now, its so heavy till, I decided to give up on many things... So maybe its time for me to let go of stuff and so... Led a normal life... Hopefully, the shanghai trip will make a new gabriel... A more strong and positive and better Gabriel...
I may leave with laughters, but behind it, its the sorrow that motivates the laughters... i am not of depression mode now.. It just my feelings that i long wanted to say... Sorry everyone, sorry gabriel... I let you guys down... But i will and i surely will, be back NEW!!!
Now, i am infornt of the computer doing my project... And i am totally pissed by it... Dont wish to further explain... But i got a sudden urge to cry or to shout or to drop dead... I am not sure why... But I feel empty now... Not because i am hungry or what... I felt, that the movie and the fun I have somehow, cure me from my emptiness... But afterall, I felt lonely and empty and totally stress...
Alright, I am hoping to go Shanghai, and i am trying to be independent, so i start off by taking bus alone, long rides buses... Okie, then i felt that the Ipod is destroying my plans, because i wont be bring it to shanghai... Okie, so I decided to watch She's the Man movie... Okie, Its perfect, I felt.. But now, I feel much more empty, I felt lost... A sudden LOST in no where... I tried to focus, but i couldnt... Goodness me, i feel so fed up with stuff now... And not to say IRRITATED...
What makes me empty? What makes me stress??? What's behind all this???? Or am i just trying to grab attention??? I doubt so... And i am clueless... Sorry to say, i feel like a dead ass... And i want to release myself totally... So much fun and laughter, but till it couldnt hide the emotion feelings behind its... I couldnt feel anymore better... So if you think, Gabriel is a funny ass, that's surely a fake me... And when you see a guy looking at the scenery quietly, thats me... Cause i need a break from all NONSENSE...
I shall remain myself as a dead ass... I am so dead... So not Focus at all... I hoped to release... Okie... Election is coming... My heart is there for it... But my body is not moving for it... Is it i am tired from it? I guess not... I love BSC... And i love the people... Some people says:" Gabriel is so attitude!!!". Some says:"His too attention seeker". SOme even says:" WE HATE HIM!!!" How can i possibly live with such fucking comments in school... I know it, but i pretended to be positive... I carried many Criticisms, it accumulate each time i heard it... I tried hard to throw it away, tried many times... But i couldnt... As time goes by, it become a burden...Too heavy, too diffcult to handle... Now, its so heavy till, I decided to give up on many things... So maybe its time for me to let go of stuff and so... Led a normal life... Hopefully, the shanghai trip will make a new gabriel... A more strong and positive and better Gabriel...
I may leave with laughters, but behind it, its the sorrow that motivates the laughters... i am not of depression mode now.. It just my feelings that i long wanted to say... Sorry everyone, sorry gabriel... I let you guys down... But i will and i surely will, be back NEW!!!
posted by Gabriel at
1:29 AM
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