exhausted...
Exhausted...
Its been quite some time since gab's ever felt so really exhausted... And he really admit it now that he is really tired and at last he really felt so tired that he want to give up a day or two for resting... So what make him so freaking exhausted...
I just got back from a rolling good fun one week genting/kl trip with yong xin... Reached singapore on friday around 9pm, and got home with little excitement... Why? I received a new on thursday that my god father passed away due to sudden heart attack... Since then my mood wasnt at perfect conditions, if you know me, I will curb my feelings just to make sure the fun keep rolling in... To be frank, I am not really close to him, but ya, I know he dotes me... Afterall, his my baptised father... Feelings are still filling me up... Then after reaching singapore, the next early morning got up, and rush to the funeral to accompany my god mother... Saturday morning, a bright and yet a tiring morning, still have things bothering me between the fight of godma and her son... Then on the same day, I rushed down to holiday inn hotel atrium to meet up with my AA colleuages for lunch, people like; chris chan, chris foo, janice, jimmy, ru yuan, xiu ping, mother, turned up to have a farewell lunch for me, its a treat from him...Yippee... Thanks all... And after lunch, me and ru yuan hit down to downtown east for alvin chalet... A pre-enlistment chalet... Yipee.. Fun to catch up with all my secondary school friend... Which was amazing day... And so saturday, i only managed to sleep at 2am...
Then sunday which is today, came as soon as a lighting would strike... Got up as early, today is godfather wake... Sending him to his last journey... And so I will be giving some thoughts now.... For good or worst, want to read or not, its up to you...
Death easy as it said, easy as it written... Come so soon, that you have no defence against... Who says shark are dangerous, who says fire are scary... I think death is more scary... Who knows when.. You know? I dont know... Sorrow do cover the atmosphere, especially when funeral came upon a sudden happiness... I believe in death, after death... But its a cycle whereby, all human will turned into soil, all human will get back to zero... When all loves and hatred got neturalised and everything just seem to get back to the single digit, 0... I am curious, why I didnt cry when grandpa passed away... or rather little... And I am curious, why I cried like a spolit water tap... Seeing his coffin moved slowly into the fire cage, my heart just went down, tears just broke off from my eyes, just like I am trying to put the fire off to hope that godfather would await... Dont leave us, I dont care what you do, just wake up and be like a man to take care of your family... No excuses anymore... Tears roll down my reddish cheek... While the slient atmospher, wasnt that quiet, you could hear people blowing their nose, tears dripping onto the floor, godmother screaming and yelling and crying... All cried, no one except him... All cried... I sweared the sorrow was there... The hardship was there... Godma faint many times, so do my heart... Must I tell the whole world I am sad? No, I curb my feelings, bring my tears to an end... And tell myself, godma need you all.. All of us... She need us... I love you... And I am really tired... Really... I believe in death. I believe in after life... But I cant believe in having a relative of mine to go... Fuck you... Fuck you... Fuck whoever who took life away and create new life... I hate the sorrow, I hate to cry... Since when I last cried.. Since when I said I am really exhausted... I hate it... Fuck...
If all ashes have to leave the world one day, just take it all at one go, stop making life filled with ugly sorrow... If I have a choice, I would be here now... But if wasnt I here, I wouldnt felt all the ugliness in the world... SO be it... Take it if you want... If you are happy go ahead...
To all, there.. Give gabriel some time tomorrow... He need a rest for once... Till then he will show all the fun he had in malaysia...
I admit t death now.... Fuck...
Its been quite some time since gab's ever felt so really exhausted... And he really admit it now that he is really tired and at last he really felt so tired that he want to give up a day or two for resting... So what make him so freaking exhausted...
I just got back from a rolling good fun one week genting/kl trip with yong xin... Reached singapore on friday around 9pm, and got home with little excitement... Why? I received a new on thursday that my god father passed away due to sudden heart attack... Since then my mood wasnt at perfect conditions, if you know me, I will curb my feelings just to make sure the fun keep rolling in... To be frank, I am not really close to him, but ya, I know he dotes me... Afterall, his my baptised father... Feelings are still filling me up... Then after reaching singapore, the next early morning got up, and rush to the funeral to accompany my god mother... Saturday morning, a bright and yet a tiring morning, still have things bothering me between the fight of godma and her son... Then on the same day, I rushed down to holiday inn hotel atrium to meet up with my AA colleuages for lunch, people like; chris chan, chris foo, janice, jimmy, ru yuan, xiu ping, mother, turned up to have a farewell lunch for me, its a treat from him...Yippee... Thanks all... And after lunch, me and ru yuan hit down to downtown east for alvin chalet... A pre-enlistment chalet... Yipee.. Fun to catch up with all my secondary school friend... Which was amazing day... And so saturday, i only managed to sleep at 2am...
Then sunday which is today, came as soon as a lighting would strike... Got up as early, today is godfather wake... Sending him to his last journey... And so I will be giving some thoughts now.... For good or worst, want to read or not, its up to you...
Death easy as it said, easy as it written... Come so soon, that you have no defence against... Who says shark are dangerous, who says fire are scary... I think death is more scary... Who knows when.. You know? I dont know... Sorrow do cover the atmosphere, especially when funeral came upon a sudden happiness... I believe in death, after death... But its a cycle whereby, all human will turned into soil, all human will get back to zero... When all loves and hatred got neturalised and everything just seem to get back to the single digit, 0... I am curious, why I didnt cry when grandpa passed away... or rather little... And I am curious, why I cried like a spolit water tap... Seeing his coffin moved slowly into the fire cage, my heart just went down, tears just broke off from my eyes, just like I am trying to put the fire off to hope that godfather would await... Dont leave us, I dont care what you do, just wake up and be like a man to take care of your family... No excuses anymore... Tears roll down my reddish cheek... While the slient atmospher, wasnt that quiet, you could hear people blowing their nose, tears dripping onto the floor, godmother screaming and yelling and crying... All cried, no one except him... All cried... I sweared the sorrow was there... The hardship was there... Godma faint many times, so do my heart... Must I tell the whole world I am sad? No, I curb my feelings, bring my tears to an end... And tell myself, godma need you all.. All of us... She need us... I love you... And I am really tired... Really... I believe in death. I believe in after life... But I cant believe in having a relative of mine to go... Fuck you... Fuck you... Fuck whoever who took life away and create new life... I hate the sorrow, I hate to cry... Since when I last cried.. Since when I said I am really exhausted... I hate it... Fuck...
If all ashes have to leave the world one day, just take it all at one go, stop making life filled with ugly sorrow... If I have a choice, I would be here now... But if wasnt I here, I wouldnt felt all the ugliness in the world... SO be it... Take it if you want... If you are happy go ahead...
To all, there.. Give gabriel some time tomorrow... He need a rest for once... Till then he will show all the fun he had in malaysia...
I admit t death now.... Fuck...
posted by Gabriel at
8:09 PM
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